CATDOLL : CATDOLL: 5 people who wrote meaningful skits on campus

Character: Mom - a young woman in her thirties

Daughter - a little girl around 13 or 14 years old

Applicants: rural aunt; retired female soldier; intelligent robot (three people in total, played by the same person)

Location: Living room of the mother and daughter’s home

(In the living room, the mother and daughter sat on the sofa, eating melon seeds while discussing the matter of hiring a nanny.)

Daughter: Mom, we’ve posted the job posting for a few days, but no one is here! Today is the last day, if no one comes, all those bowls in our house…

Mom: Don’t be anxious, my dear daughter. Don’t worry. I promise someone will come today.

Daughter: Guarantee? What guarantee do you have? It's been posted for so many days and no one has shown up. Besides, look at the conditions you set, you are totally exploitative.

Mom: What's wrong with the conditions I offered? Food and accommodation are provided, and the salary is 500 yuan a month. You can go and ask around to see if my conditions are good.

Daughter: (Waving her hands) Okay, don't say anything. The dishes in our sink haven't been washed for four days, the clothes in the basin haven't been washed for more than a week, and the floor hasn't been swept for more than half a month. If we can't find a nanny tonight, you will take care of all the work!

Mom: (Stands up) Oh! You're ordering me around. I asked you to wash this bowl the day before yesterday, but what happened? I told you to throw the clothes in the basin into the washing machine, but you insisted that I could only wash them by hand. So you washed them! And look at the garbage on the floor. Did I throw it there? You've been so lazy since you were little. How can you get married when you grow up? (Wipes eyes with sleeves, pretends to be wronged) Your father works away from home all year round and is not at home. I raised you with great difficulty over the years, but look at you...

Daughter: (spits melon seeds on the ground) Come on, you've worked so hard, I see you're living a comfortable life, playing cards, watching TV, shopping every day, who can live a more carefree life than you? And you say I'm lazy. I say you, don't worry, even you can marry a good man like my dad, I'm sure I can marry someone better.

Mom: How can you talk like that, little girl? Looks like I have to ask your dad to teach you a lesson. Do you think I...

(Ding Dong Ding Dong… Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong… Just then the doorbell rang)

Mother: (Changing the subject) Daughter, someone is here, he must be here for an interview (talking as they walk) That’s what I was thinking, with such good conditions, why wouldn’t someone come (opening the door, a rural woman in her forties is standing outside)

Auntie: I heard you guys are hiring a nanny? Do you think I'm a good fit?

Mom: We are looking for a nanny. Come, please sit inside first. (Pulling the auntie to sit down) Where are you from?

Auntie: I just came from the countryside. My nephew who works in the city said that you are recruiting female nannies here. The conditions are quite good and the requirements are not high, so he asked me to give it a try. As soon as I heard about it, I took a bus and rushed here this morning. My place is remote, and it is not easy to go out. I rushed here as soon as I got off the bus, and I didn’t even have time to eat. Do you think I can do it?

Mom: Oh, you haven't eaten for a day. We have some food here. I'll bring it to you and we can eat and talk. (Gets up and goes to the kitchen)

(At this moment, my daughter, who was watching TV, took out the lollipop she bought at school after school in the afternoon from her schoolbag and ate it with gusto, making a "tsk tsk" sound.)

Auntie: (Swallowing) Girl, what is this?

Daughter: Lollipop.

Auntie: (staring at the candy and swallowing) Is this delicious?

Daughter: Delicious!

Auntie: It’s delicious?

Daughter: Of course it’s delicious, this is my favorite flavor…

(Before she finished speaking, the auntie snatched the lollipop from her daughter and stuffed it into her mouth)

Auntie: Oh my god, this thing is really delicious! I saw Auntie Wang from our village eating this last month. She said her son brought it to her from the city. I was wondering when I could try it. I really made the right decision to go to the city.

(The daughter stood there in a daze, not reacting yet. At this moment, the mother came out of the kitchen with food in her hand and witnessed this scene) Mother: What are you doing? You, you, you actually snatched a child's candy, you robber, bandit! Get out, get out... (While talking, she pushes the aunt out. She closes the door and talks to herself) Who are you running into? (Walks up to her daughter and touches her head) My dear daughter, it's okay. Mom is here.

Daughter: (Screaming "Wow") She stole my candy, which is my favorite lollipop! Who is this person?

Mom: Be good, it’s okay, mom has kicked her out.

Daughter: (Looking up at her mother) Look at the kind of people you have recruited. I had a hard time snatching that candy from a classmate. No matter what, in order to compensate for my mental and financial losses, you have to buy me ten packs of lollipops.

Mom: (Raising her voice) Ten packs? Aren’t you afraid of eating you to death? I didn’t steal your candy, why are you yelling at me? You are such a grown-up, and you let someone snatch your candy from under your nose. Aren’t you ashamed to say it out loud?

Daughter: If you weren’t lazy and didn’t do housework, why would you post a nanny recruitment ad? How could this happen? Of course it’s your fault!

Mom: Well, then we won't hire a nanny. Will you do all the housework? I can't do it anyway. Your father married me to love him, not to be a nanny.

Daughter: You...

(Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Ding Dong… the doorbell rang again)

Mom: Let’s stop arguing. There will probably be another one coming. Let’s see how this one goes.

(Ding dong ding dong ding dong…)

Mom: Come on, come on, come on. If you ring the doorbell again, it will be bad. (Opens the door, and a sturdy woman in camouflage uniform stands outside) Excuse me, who are you...

Female soldier: Oh, I heard you are recruiting female nannies here (walks into the room and sits on the sofa very consciously), what do you think of me?

Mother: Yes. But may I ask who you are... (looking at the female soldier's attire)

Female soldier: Oh, I am a retired female soldier. I just got discharged from the army and I was thinking about finding something to do.

Mom: Oh...what kind of work do you do?

Female soldier: I can’t wash dishes, I can’t wash clothes, I can’t sweep the floor and put things away, I can’t do any of that. But I can do boxing, how about I show you a dance? (Without waiting for her mother to say anything, the female soldier casually took out her nunchaku and started playing with it, Jay Chou’s “Nunchucks” music started. “Snap”, she accidentally broke a cup, but she didn’t notice it at all and continued to dance vigorously.)

(The mother and daughter were stunned for a while, and the mother quickly shouted)

Mom: Stop, stop, stop. That's enough. Go back and wait for the news. We will call you.

Female soldier: Uh, OK, I’ll go back first. (Walks to the door, and the mother stands up to see her off. Just as she reaches the door, the female soldier suddenly turns around, startling the mother and daughter) Uh, well, remember to notify me if there’s any news, I’ll be waiting.

Mother: OK, OK, I will definitely let you know. Take care. (While speaking, she opens the door and lets the female soldier out)

Female soldier: (She walks to the door and suddenly turns around, scaring her mother again. The female soldier takes out a cell phone from her pocket and shakes it in her hand) I have a cell phone, call me, it has a color screen.

Mom: Uh, OK, I'll call your cell phone. Walk slowly. (Closes the door and lets out a long breath)

Daughter: (Dissatisfied, with a coquettish tone) Mom, look at who are these people. Just now a rural auntie snatched my lollipop, and now a female soldier comes to play with nunchakus. Look, look, she broke the most beautiful cup in our house. I am so sad. I have to tell you in advance that you can't bring her in.

Mom: Go, go, go, get a broom and sweep the glass. What if she gets her feet pierced? Even if you don't tell me, I won't hire her. Why should I hire her if she can't do anything? If she keeps humming and hawing like this every day, I'm going to lose my heart.

Daughter: (Sweeping the glass lazily with a broom) I think you shouldn't hire a nanny. The two people who came to interview are both freaks. You should just be a housewife.

Mom: No, I won’t believe that. I just don’t believe that I can’t find a satisfactory nanny.

(Ding Dong... Ding Dong... Ding Dong... The doorbell rings again) Look, someone's here again. (Walks forward and opens the door. A woman dressed simply stands outside.)

Robot: (Mechanical voice, without any emotion) Hello, I am a multifunctional intelligent robot, and I’m here to apply for the nanny job in your house.

Mom: Oh, isn’t this the “intelligent robot” from the Spring Festival Gala? How come it came to our house to apply for a nanny position?

Robot: Since the company has gone bankrupt due to operational errors, our robots can only find jobs on their own. Our intelligent robots are easy to operate, welcome to try them out (raise your hand, hand over the remote control.)

Daughter: (Throws away the broom and rushes to the door) Let me take a look, let me take a look, wow! It's really the smart robot from the Spring Festival Gala, hey, mom, why don't we try it, it's a star product. (Takes the remote control) What functions does it have?

Robot: We have many function options including diligent nanny, virtuous nanny, gentle nanny, supervisory nanny, tutor nanny, etc.

Daughter: Let’s try (speaking while pressing the remote control) “Diligent Nanny”. (Only a “beep” sound is heard)

Robot: Oh, this is where people live! Tsk tsk tsk, this is a doghouse (walks around the living room, picks up the broom and starts sweeping the floor. The mother and daughter smile at each other and sit on the sofa to continue watching TV) Look, look, the floor is dirty, tsk tsk tsk, this is garbage... Feet (pats the mother's leg with the broom, the mother lifts her leg up, and the two continue to stare at the TV)

Daughter: (Looks up at the clock) Oh, it's eight o'clock, the cartoon is about to start. (Picks up the remote control next to her and is about to change the channel.)

Mom: (grabs the remote) It’s eight o’clock. You should go read a book. I’m going to watch TV today.

Daughter: No, no, today is Saturday, and we promised to let me watch cartoons (as she spoke, she reached out to grab the remote control)

Robot: (Walks into the kitchen) Oh! Why are your dishes so dirty? They haven't been washed for several days. Tsk tsk tsk, they've attracted cockroaches.

Mother: (responds casually) I'll trouble you with that bowl. (Turning to her daughter) My dear daughter, this is the end of today. Can I let you watch TV all day tomorrow?

Daughter: (grabs the remote) No, no, my Sailor Moon ends today too.

(The two began to fight over the remote control. In the chaos, a “pop” sound was heard and the remote control fell to the ground…)

Robot: (rushes out of the kitchen, holding freshly washed dishes) You are so outrageous! (angry) You, (points at the mother), you are so old but you still fight with your daughter for the TV and don’t do any work. The house is like a doghouse; you (points at the little daughter again) why are you here so late instead of reading (throws the bowl), go read a book.

(The mother and daughter were startled. The mother subconsciously looked at the remote control on the ground and found it was a robot remote control)

Mom: Daughter, the remote control we just dropped... don't worry, mom will press it back now (picks up the remote control and presses it hard, no response) It's over, it seems to be broken.

Robot: (sound of slapping the table) What are you still standing there for! Why don’t you go wash the dishes and do your homework. (walks over and grabs the daughter and walks to the room) I told you to watch TV, you are not allowed to go to bed before 12 o’clock tonight!

Daughter: (crying) Mommy...

(Mom rushed into the kitchen, running around anxiously. Suddenly, she picked up the basin, filled it with water, and followed.)

Robot: (Hitting the daughter on the head) What are you yelling about? Go do your homework.

(The mother rushed forward to pull her daughter away and threw a basin of water over. The robot remained frozen in place)

Daughter: (scared, hiding behind her mother) Mom, Mom…

(The robot's neck moves and slowly droops.)

Mom: (Carefully walks forward and pushes the robot, but there is no response. She feels relieved) My dear daughter, it’s okay. (She pushes the robot out the door)

Daughter: (wiping tears) Mom, I'm so scared.

Mother: (Hugs her daughter and pats her on the back. Pushes her away after a moment) Oh... It seems that we can’t hire this nanny. My dear daughter, let’s stick to the old rules.

Daughter: (holding out her hand, whispering) Hammer, scissors, paper...