CATDOLL : CATDOLL: What is the method of escaping from the shell?

The so-called "escape strategy" means that when we are in a difficult situation, we should actively use various confusing methods to divert the other party's attention, and avoid questions that we are not convenient to answer, so that the other party cannot understand our strengths and weaknesses and movements, so that we can get out of the predicament in time and turn danger into safety.

1. Grafting

Once, a leader held a press conference in Beijing to introduce the achievements of the new China's economic construction. A Western reporter asked, "Excuse me, how much money does the People's Bank of China have?" The leader heard the hidden meaning and answered humorously, "The monetary funds of the People's Bank of China are 18 yuan, 80 cents and 8 cents." All the reporters were stunned and the place was silent. Then he explained, "The People's Bank of China issues ten main and subsidiary currencies of RMB with denominations of 10 yuan, 5 yuan, 2 yuan, 1 yuan, 50 cents, 20 cents, 10 cents, 5 cents, 2 cents and 1 cent, totaling 18 yuan, 80 cents and 8 cents. The People's Bank of China is a financial institution run by the people of China and backed by the people of the whole country; it has outstanding credit and strong strength. The currency it issues is the most reputable currency in the world and enjoys a high reputation internationally." This witty remark shocked the whole audience and aroused warm applause from the audience.

The figures asked by the Western reporters were obviously within the scope of state secrets, but the Western reporters asked knowingly, with the intention of mocking my country's poverty. The sensitive Chinese leader heard the hidden meaning, and he did not refuse to answer directly, saying "no comment", nor did he accuse the other party of bad motives, but gave a non-answer, using the total figures of various denominations of RMB, and took advantage of the topic to publicize the good situation of financial stability in New China. The answer was very witty and humorous.

When the famous Japanese film actress Nakano Yoshiko visited Shanghai for an art exchange, her Chinese friends were very concerned about this 35-year-old unmarried film artist. When someone asked her when she was going to get married, Nakano Yoshiko smiled and answered cleverly, "If I get married, I will come to China for my honeymoon."

The marriage of movie stars is a very sensitive topic from the press to the streets. If not handled properly, it will be spread beyond recognition. However, in the face of the enthusiastic and concerned inquiries from Chinese friends, out of politeness, she could not refuse to answer with "no comment". Nakano Yoshiko's answer was very clever. She did not avoid the question of her marriage, but secretly shifted the question of "when to get married" to the question of "where to spend the honeymoon", making a substitution. In this way, she avoided the question of the time of marriage, which she had no intention of making public, and expressed her friendly feelings towards the Chinese people through the location of the marriage and honeymoon. It was very humorous.

The practice of "transferring flowers and trees" is to avoid the other party's questioning by using language that is neither correct nor inaccurate, so as to resolve the other party's offensive without them noticing, and thus escape from the dilemma set by the other party. This serious and polite form of answer forms a sharp contrast with the answer content that is equivalent to saying nothing, creating a humorous effect.

2. It is difficult to marry someone

The so-called passing the difficulty on to others means cleverly passing the difficult problem to others so that they are overwhelmed in dealing with it, and we take the opportunity to get out of the adversity.

At night, Cohen tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep. So his wife asked him, "Why, are you uncomfortable?"

"No, I owe Tom across the street three hundred dollars. It's due tomorrow, but I don't have any money, so I can't sleep."

"Just for this?" The wife was quite surprised. She got out of bed carelessly, opened the window, and shouted to the house opposite: "Hey, Tom, my husband can't pay you back tomorrow!" After that, she closed the window, returned to her husband, and said: "Okay, now you can sleep peacefully, now it's Tom's turn to be awake!"

What a smart wife! She passed the problem to someone else. Although it did not solve the problem in the end, it at least helped her get out of trouble temporarily.

Emperor Qianlong wanted to make a joke to stump the witty scholar Ji Xiaolan, so he asked him: "Ji Qing, how do you explain loyalty and filial piety?" Ji Xiaolan replied: "If the monarch wants his subjects to die, the subjects have to die. To be loyal..." Qianlong immediately said: "I am now ordering you to die as a monarch?" "This... I obey the order!" "How do you plan to die?" "Jump into the river." "Okay, go!" After Ji Xiaolan left, Qianlong paced in the hall with a smile. Not long after, Ji Xiaolan ran back from outside. Qianlong asked: "Ji Qing, why didn't you die?" Ji Xiaolan replied: "I met Qu Yuan, and he wouldn't let me die." "What do you mean?" "I went to the river and was about to jump down. Doctor Qu walked towards me from the water. He patted my shoulder and said, "Xiaolan, this is not right. I had to die because the King of Chu was a tyrant. But now the emperor is so wise. You should go back and ask the emperor if he is a tyrant. If the emperor says yes, it's not too late for you to die!" "After hearing this, Emperor Qianlong smiled and said nothing.

Qianlong thought he could use the "Three Principles" and the imperial edict to stump Ji Xiaolan, but Ji Xiaolan's witty words threw the problem back to him; if he wanted Ji Xiaolan to obey his orders and die, it would be tantamount to admitting that he was a tyrant; if he did not admit that he was a tyrant, he would have to withdraw his order, which meant admitting that he could not stump Ji Xiaolan.

Passing the difficulty to others is a good way to get out of trouble and a witty response, but it does not always work humorously, as in the following example:

A ship is sinking.

Captain: Is there anyone who hopes that God will save him?

Passenger 1: I hope so.

Captain: That's great! Our lifeboat is just short of one person.

This is simply taking advantage of other people's ignorance to put them in a desperate situation. It is hard to say that this is smart, it is just cunning.

3. Go with the flow

The premiere of George Bernard Shaw's play "Arms and the Man" was a success, and many audiences asked him to come on stage to meet everyone at the end of the play. However, when Shaw walked onto the stage, someone suddenly shouted, "Bernard Shaw, your play is terrible, go back and stop the show!"

When Shaw heard the shout, he was not angry at all. Instead, he bowed deeply to the man and said politely: "My friend, you are right. I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, what is the use of the two of us opposing so many audiences? Can we ban the performance of this play?"

The witty remark caused laughter from the whole audience, and the person who deliberately provoked him walked away in shame.

It can be imagined that it would be very difficult for Shaw to fight back against the slander of the attacker. Because he could not and did not need to argue with a scoundrel whether his play was excellent or terrible. The clever playwright avoided the attack and followed the situation. He bowed, praised the play and expressed his full agreement. Then he suddenly changed the subject and seized the key point that the attacker was alone and could not make any difference. He formed a sharp contrast with the enthusiastic support and requests for the performance by others, and fought back humorously and sharply. At this time, the attacker could not argue because Shaw had agreed to stop the performance and it was not good to continue to pester him. The laughter of the audience announced his helplessness and ridiculed and mocked his deliberate provocation. He had no choice but to leave in disgrace.

So the guillotine is to grasp the intention and key points of others' offensive, and on the surface obey the situation, but in fact, use the method of "a little effort to move a great object" to lure the opponent to go deep into the enemy's territory alone, leading him to the absurd extreme, and then suddenly reverse the situation and concentrate firepower to strike back, so that the opponent will be hit hard and dizzy in the situation where he was secretly happy. In this strong contrast, comic humor is generated.

Zhang Leping's famous cartoon "Sanmao Calling Mom" ​​depicts a noble lady who met Sanmao with a pug. The lady teased Sanmao and said that if Sanmao called her pug "Dad" a few times, she would give Sanmao thirty dollars. This was a great insult to her personality, but the clever Sanmao quickly came up with a clever plan: he called the dog "Dad" a few times, and the lady had no choice but to give Sanmao the money in full under the watchful eyes of everyone. Sanmao took the money and said gratefully, "Thank you, Mom!"

This really embarrassed the lady.

The clever Sanmao used the method of "going with the flow", making the originally superior opponent fall into a more embarrassing predicament than herself, while her own wit and humor were revealed.

4. Misinterpretation and avoidance

During the Southern Dynasties, Emperor Gao of Qi was practicing calligraphy with calligrapher Wang Sengqian. Suddenly, Emperor Gao asked Wang Sengqian, "Whose calligraphy is the best, you or me?" Wang replied, "My calligraphy is the best among my ministers, and yours is the best among my emperors." Emperor Gao laughed and said, "You know how to protect yourself."

It was really hard to answer the question of Emperor Gao of Qi. He could either tell a lie against his will and flatter the emperor, or speak the truth and anger the emperor. Faced with this dilemma, Wang Sengqian deliberately avoided the question of "whose handwriting is better between the two people", but cleverly answered the question of comparing the two people with the same type in two different scopes. In this way, he not only took care of Emperor Gao of Qi's face, but also maintained his own dignity and created a humorous atmosphere.

The so-called misinterpretation and avoidance means avoiding the sharp edge of the other party's topic, understanding and answering from an unexpected angle of the other party, so that the other party can neither gain any benefit nor find any handle on us, thus getting rid of the other party's entanglement.

In Mao Zedong's hometown of Shaoshan, there is a "Mao's Restaurant" which does a booming business. The proprietress praises the Party's policies to everyone she meets.

One autumn, an American guest came to the restaurant for dinner. She served the American guest several Hunan-style dishes and was about to leave when the guest stopped her and asked in Chinese:

"Madam Boss, if Chairman Mao Zedong were still alive, could you run this restaurant?"

The proprietress had not expected him to ask such a sharp question, and she was a little nervous. But she had seen the world after all, and she had developed a flawless "Ah Qing Sao-style" eloquence after running a shop and seeing off customers over the years. She thought for a moment and answered:

"Without Chairman Mao, my family would have starved to death or frozen to death. How could we open a store here?"

When the American guests heard this, they couldn't help but burst into laughter and said repeatedly:

"Good answer! Good answer!"

It was a good answer indeed! He avoided the traps and hidden sharpness of the question. He answered from another angle, using a treacherous but upright approach, and his admiration and remembrance for Mao Zedong were fully expressed.

5. Secretly Crossing Chencang

The so-called "sneak attack" means that when a mistake causes embarrassment, one should make the best of it, find a turning point in the mistake, and create an opportunity to correct the mistake secretly, thus getting out of the predicament.

There was an actor who played Lu Su. When he went on stage, he forgot to wear his beard in a hurry. He walked to the rhythm of gongs and drums and came to "Zhou Yu". Zhou Yu was shocked, but he still asked according to the original line, "Who are you?" Lu Su stroked his beard as usual. Oops, he didn't wear it! But he didn't panic. Instead, he had an idea and changed the original line "I am Lu Su" to "I am Lu Su's son". Zhou Yu also played along and said, "How dare you! You are so young and want to deceive me. This is unacceptable. Go back and call your father up!" Lu Su understood and said, "Yes, sir!" Just like that, he went back to call his "father" to go on stage calmly. In fact, he went back to wear his beard.

The audience in the audience was about to applaud, but after seeing their humorous performance, they couldn't help but cheer.

At a quiz contest, the host asked: What do the three cardinal guides of the Three Cardinal Guides and Five Constant Virtues refer to? A female student answered: "Ministers are the cardinal guides of their rulers, sons are the cardinal guides of their fathers, and wives are the cardinal guides of their husbands."

Her answer just reversed the relationship between the three, causing laughter in the room. The female student suddenly added, "What are you laughing at? I'm talking about the New Three Principles."

The host asked in confusion: "How do you explain it?"

The female student answered calmly: "Now, our people are the masters of the country, and leaders, no matter how high their official positions are, are all public servants of the people. Isn't it that the minister is the leader of the monarch? At present, a couple has only one child, and the child becomes the little emperor of his parents. Isn't it that the son is the leader of the father? In many families, the power of the wife far exceeds that of the husband, and henpecked husbands and model husbands are popular everywhere. Isn't it that the wife is the leader of the husband?"

What a new Three Principles! The audience applauded this female student for her ability to make up for her slip of the tongue!

Horses can stumble and people can make mistakes. In daily conversations, sometimes it is inevitable to let slip something. At this time, it is best to make up for it in time. You can transplant flowers and trees, or you can make things difficult for people, you can go with the flow, or you can misinterpret and avoid it. Of course, you might as well make the best of a mistake and sneak into Chencang. This not only can make up for the leak. And sometimes it may also create a humorous mood.

6. Return the favor

There is a very funny joke.

A beautiful young girl was sitting alone in the bar, and she must have come from a wealthy family.

A young man came over. "Is anyone else sitting here?" he asked in a low voice.

"To the Avda?" she cried.

"No, no. You're mistaken. I was just asking if anyone else is sitting here?"

"You said you were going tonight?" she screamed, more excited than before.

The young man was so embarrassed by her that he went to another table with a red face. Many customers looked at him with indignation and contempt.

After a while, the young girl came to his table and ordered him a glass of brandy. She said softly, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to see how you react to the unexpected situation."

This time it was the young man's turn to shout, "What? $100?"

The young girl teased the young man in public, which was a very bad joke. The young man was regarded as a prostitute by everyone, which was a huge loss of face. Fortunately, the young man finally seized an opportunity to return the favor, making everyone think that the young girl was just a prostitute, making her look bad.

In the waiting room of the train station, a middle-aged man saw a beautiful young woman sitting next to him and wanted to talk to her. He saw that the young woman was wearing a pair of flesh-colored stockings, so he asked with a smile: "Excuse me, where did you buy this pair of stockings? I want to buy a pair for my wife too."

The young woman looked at him and said, "I advise you not to buy them. Wearing these socks will give questionable men an excuse to talk to your wife."

This was a brilliant answer. It used humorous language to indirectly rebuke him, leaving him speechless and unable to respond, and unable to find an opportunity to ask more questions or get angry.

When the great Russian poet Pushkin was young, he once attended a Duke's family dance in St. Petersburg. He invited a young lady to dance, but the young lady said arrogantly, "I can't dance with a child!" Pushkin suddenly had an idea and said with a smile, "I'm sorry, young lady, I didn't know you were pregnant." After that, he bowed politely, but the beautiful young lady was speechless and blushed.

This is also the case of “returning favors as you would have them do for you.”